Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
