Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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