so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
