So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will be naked everywhere
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
