I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
