Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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