Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
