Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize