It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
