If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
