Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I know her cup size but not her name....
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