brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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