margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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