dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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