My liver just broke up with me...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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