I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
