Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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