Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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