a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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