Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think people are normalizing furries
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
