Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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