I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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