Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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