Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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