The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
