how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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