Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize