God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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