Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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