he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
