Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
