I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
