And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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