Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my liver is dry heaving
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