If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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