omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
