Banned from zoo.
Again?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
