apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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