Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
