Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My vagina is very pro this idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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