I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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