i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
