I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
