you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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