my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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