Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
