You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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