i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
