He is an equal opportunity slut.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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