i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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