She is in my trunk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
