i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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