oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
