Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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