plz talk dirty to me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
