dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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