there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
