I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
