FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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