weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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