This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
